I kept the two oldest grandboys this week. They are eleven and thirteen. I forgot how young men acted. I raised three boys but I haven’t had them at home in three years. I have girls home now. Although Kennedy lives on campus, she is here all the time and of course I have Belle. The only thing I got right this weekend was the food. I bought a ridiculous amount of food, snacks, orange pop, candy and chips. I totally nailed the food thing. Everything else, well, you’d just have to ask them….

Belle takes at least three showers a day. Throw in a long hot bath, hair time and makeup time and she is in the bathroom every twenty-two out of twenty=four hours. When all the girlies come and stay, I always buy the newest Bath and Body or Philosophy. I have bubble bath and a bath bomb or two. I always buy a new candle for the bathroom and I ALWAYS have new socks. My girls all love new socks. Especially holiday socks. I buy flavored coffee and green tea. As I’ve been writing this, I think I always do the above things for my now grown boys. They like the spoiling I do for the girls and are more than happy to partake. They usually get new pajama shorts instead of socks, but pretty much everything else is the same. Any time they stay, I always try to make it an event. That’s why everyone wants to stay at Birdie’s house.

This week I had a new teen and pre-teen boy. This is the first time I have ever kept them like this. They usually come with Ginnie and they all stay. Um…she wants the spoiling too! Of course she stays! This weekend, however, it was just me, the boys and Belle. I am ashamed that I was a bit lost as to what to do with them.

We have all the toys that watching the television has to offer. Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, On Demand, every channel we are offered. The girls and I don’t watch ‘real’ TV. We watch older shows that are offered or movies. We are movie hounds. We like movie series. There is nothing better than spending a day watching Harry Potter, piled up on the couch with all of the dogs with a veggie or fruit platter! And ice cream. Always ice cream. Ken watches the History Channel or Nat Geo. I love Nat Ge but I totally know more about Hitler than I could ever want to know.

They boys arrived on Thursday and I asked them what they wanted to watch. Let me pause here for a moment and clarify something. I am an outdoor person. We live on a lake. Any other time we would have taken the boys out on the boat and fishing and turtle hunting and all that good stuff. But it’s HOT here. Like, dangerous hot. I can’t do hot anymore. When I do, I have a flair or relapse and end up in the hospital. No heat and humidity for me. Ok, anyway, I asked the boys what they wanted to watch and we agreed on all of the Back To The Futures. I was thrilled! I love those movies! That was where the group television activities started and stopped. Sports, stupid humor movies, SCIENCE shows! I hate science shows! Belle retreated to her bedroom to bask in all of the Gilmore Girls glory and I was stuck in here with adolescent boy humor.

Also, boys fart. A lot. Now I know this. They keep farting when they grow up. Ken and my boys can rattle the windows. They don’t, however, fart on the dogs. Or try to decide what the dogs have been eating based on their farts. Or time their farts on the stopwatch on my iPhone. Farting was a big part of this week. I forgot that. I’ve burned every candle in the house. Last night, in an act of total desperation, I sprayed raid in the house. Sure, it burns your eyes, but not like the fart smell does.

There seems to be a breakdown in communication between the boys and I about cleanliness. I know they brought clothing with them. They each brought a duffle bag. I know one of the bags contained a game system, but I am assuming there are clothes in the somewhere. I have repeatedly laid out towels and welcomed them to take a shower. The only time they have been wet this week is when they went swimming. Maybe they are playing ‘outdoor camping game’ and took some soap with them to the dock. I didn’t smell soap. Not that I necessarily smell body order either. I’m not all that comfortable asking them if they have washed themselves so I’m going to let their mom figure it out when they get home. They are in one piece, they have no broken bones and we haven’t had to have stitches. I’m going to consider this a success.

We have seven dogs. Old, young, big, little and really little. I have asked them to stay out of Willie’s face, you’re going to get bit. I have asked them to be careful and not toss the mini doxies around, they will scare or hurt them. I have warned them about wrestling with Sam and Tag, I’m afraid the boys will get hurt. I suddenly stopped last night and realized that the dogs were having a ball and so were the boys. They like to get all of the dogs howling and they howl with them. I was never this paranoid with my own children. When it’s your grandchildren, you will have to explain the wounds and missing teeth and the hunk of hair that is gone from the side of their head. It’s much more stressful!

I raised three boys. They were ornery boys who kept me on high alert most of the time. I miss having them here all the time. The two that live in Arkansas come up every Sunday. That’s our family day at the house. I used to cook every Sunday but it’s hard for me to do that these days so Kade has taken over Sunday dinner. I love it when they are here. I’m glad they have grown up. Well, for the most part. I miss the stunts that make you want to cover your eyes. I miss the epic shaving cream battles and the Light Saber wars. I miss the Skateboard tricks and the bicycle tricks and I dont’ miss the 4-wheeler tricks. I can live three lifetimes without ever seeing any more of those. My favorite times now are when everyone gets together. I hope these boys will grow up and still want to come to our house and hang out. I hope they grow up and want me to fix them their favorite foods and they still want to come over and watch Back To The Future. Won’t it be great when they bring their girlfriends, then their wives and families and come up with all the other kids. I will always keep silly string and remote control cars. Little boys grow into big boys that still like to play.