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Nine Months
It’s almost here. That day I mark each month. The utterance of that number for any reason…. Seventeen cents, pleaseShe’s seventeen nowI caught seventeen mice (That last one would trigger anyone…I know) That number has become a hangnail. It brings sorrow and black butterflies in my belly and the sound of it, when called out…
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Not Much Independence Yet
It’s July 6th. I made it. We made it. We didn’t just skin by, either. We nailed it. Like on Pinterest. I get more upset as each milestone hits for me and Kade. It’s funny, you raise a child and each thing they accomplish is celebrated. First laugh, first step, first days of school, graduation,…
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Fireworks and heartbreak
The holidays have been hard. The not-holidays have been hard. Each of us are affected differently by the absence of Kade. Each of us feel it stronger at times than the rest of us do. Of course. We each had a separate, intimate relationship with Kadey, so we have separate, intimate mourning. However, the Fourth…
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I’m an odd duck. Always have been. It takes just a LITTLE bit to tickle the crap out of me. Sometimes it’s a package of graham crackers I’ve squirreled away. Maybe a Scentbird I thought I’d lost. Fresh sheets. My favorite pjs being clean. And animals. Any surprise encounter with any animal can transform thunderclouds…
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If I Can Make It Til Four
If I Can Make It Til Four O’clock 🕰🕰🕰🕰🕰🕰🕰🕰🕰🕰🕰🕰 About four years ago, I went to Indiana for a week to spend some time with Mother and my oldest son, Kendall. I hadn’t been home in a while and I was excited. I’d not been feeling all that great, but when you have Multiple Sclerosis,…
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Kadey’s birthday week…
It’s Kade’s birthday week this week. It started yesterday, which was Easter Sunday, but I didn’t let myself dwell on that too much. We had eggs to fill and hide and anxious grandbabies coming to hunt them. My youngest daughter, Belle, and I got up early yesterday morning and cleaned and cooked and cut flowers…
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My Savage Mind
I have been reluctant to post lately. I write about what I think about and right now I just think about Kade. The reluctance is from worrying I might upset or offend someone. Or because I think people will just simply get tired of listening to my voice mourn. Tragedy scares people. Especially if it’s…
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Kadey
My children went to a private Christian School for a large part of their lives. Belle didn’t get to experience that and Kyler got just a few years. Kendall and Kade got the most. Kendall was in the fifth grade when Kade started preschool. The school was in the same building as our church, which…
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Kadey
Kade had colic beginning at about six weeks old until he was nearly four months old. You could set your watch by it. He started screaming at 6:00 pm and stopped at 9:00 pm. Every night. It scared Billy Don and I so badly when it started, we thought something must be terribly wrong with…
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#kadesstory
I’m going to be writing a series about Kade. About his life. About all of the signs I missed that his brain was wired wrong. About all toxic things he had to go through. This will most likely be uncomfortable to read at times. But his story deserves to be told and I deserve the…
Inkwell Swimmer 