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Focus
There is a supernatural peace that helps me to weather a storm. It doesn’t take the storm, rather, it allows my storm to be manageable and leave me sane. This supernatural peace helps me to heal, to resist, to relax. It bathes a nightmare in manageability. People who don’t have faith in the Helper, Jesus…
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Without the Baby Boy
I woke up in the middle of the night, a super common occurrence, and went to YouTube. That’s my go-to when the house is quiet and my thoughts are loud. I’ve begun listening to for King and Country, their Christmas show. It’s full of worship and percussion and pretty men. I mean, what’s not to…
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NSPD #kadesmom
My sweet husband worked ten hours today. Oh his way out of the hospital, he stopped in the gift shop and bought a candle for me. He explained to the lady who was working that we had lost our son to suicide in October and it was the day to honor your loved one and…
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Gone Away Awhile
There’s a song, Gone Away, that I found years ago while watching an old Syfy series created by Stephen King called Haven. It’s a sad song. I love sad songs. It came across my Spotify today and I just latched onto it. As previously discussed, when I listen to something I like, I listen to…
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Wading through a birthday
I have begun to try to change my focus on how I look at Nathan Kade Soden ‘s absence. Today is Kensley’s third birthday party. My immediate reaction is, “Look what all Kade is missing.” My intentional reaction is, “He’s watching. He’s here” Whether God allows our loved ones in Heaven to be a spectator…
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Holding on
I write about Kade a lot. That’s because that’s where I am ALL THE TIME. I also write about struggles, then I talk about the Holy Spirit at work in me. And it’s all true I guess what I may not have mentioned, is the heart wrenching battle that it takes to get from wanting…
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You could be happy
youtube.com/watch I wake up singing songs. Usually songs that I haven’t heard since I was nine. “A My Name Is Alice” Marie Osmond “Kiss An Angel Good Morning” Charlie Pride “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown” Jim Croce Or sometimes, I mix it up with 80’s country music Shenandoah or Alabama It’s a running bit in our…
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The fear of mental health
You know, people are scared of motorcycle clubs. You pull up at Kum and Go and the parking lot is full of bikers. Leather chaps and vests. Coats with a myriad of colorful patches that are full of skulls and knives. Bandannas and chains. Heavy black boots that make all of the bikers similar in…
Inkwell Swimmer 