Tag: Boy mom
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Screaming for just a second
I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis eight years ago. I’m now fifty-seven and I feel like I’m so much older physically. I’m pissed about this today. Most days my mind is filled with so much other nonsense that I just trod along like some old fat mare, chasing the carrot in front of my nose,…
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Three years
It doesn’t get any easier with time. Right now, it’s harder. The time since I last saw Kade is so huge. It’s this abysmal, black hole that has no bottom or top. It’s the ginormous void that is desperate to be filled. The knowledge that it never will be is overwhelming. I know a lot…
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Waiting on the mail
When Kade left, he was an organ donor and we were so thankful he was able to gift so many people a different way of life. From the moment they told us he would not survive this catastrophe event, I clung on to him being a donor with everything I had. At the time, it…
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Something To Be Thankful For
A cancelled then postponed adventure, a scare, a trip to the hospital, a miracle. Yes, it’s 3:03 in the morning and I’m up. Steroids. I tossed and turned until I got up and gave sleep up for right now. The fireplace has the living room cozy, along with my new snowflake Vera Bradley blanket I…
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Anxiety and Grief
I’ve been super quiet on here for a few months. I’ve not had the strength or tenacity to put anything out here. I’ve been in grief counseling since about a month after Nathan Kade Soden left. We have worked hard. I have worked hard. I have leaned on God when I thought I might not…
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Focus
There is a supernatural peace that helps me to weather a storm. It doesn’t take the storm, rather, it allows my storm to be manageable and leave me sane. This supernatural peace helps me to heal, to resist, to relax. It bathes a nightmare in manageability. People who don’t have faith in the Helper, Jesus…
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NSPD #kadesmom
My sweet husband worked ten hours today. Oh his way out of the hospital, he stopped in the gift shop and bought a candle for me. He explained to the lady who was working that we had lost our son to suicide in October and it was the day to honor your loved one and…
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Gone Away Awhile
There’s a song, Gone Away, that I found years ago while watching an old Syfy series created by Stephen King called Haven. It’s a sad song. I love sad songs. It came across my Spotify today and I just latched onto it. As previously discussed, when I listen to something I like, I listen to…
Inkwell Swimmer 